


Thor: Ragingcock

by SpaceCarrotCasserole



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-06
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-05-18 18:53:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14858336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceCarrotCasserole/pseuds/SpaceCarrotCasserole
Summary: Thor hasn't been laid in centuries





	Thor: Ragingcock

Tony was kind of a douche and liked to wash his suit in the group showers. Who fucking does that? That Stark asshole I guess. If this were Game of Thrones, he would have been the one to die by medeval syphilis, which is like regular syphilis, but French.

So the asshole was meandering through the showers, when the steam cleared and he saw the most glorious cock he's ever seen in his life. It was so beautiful, he almost wept manly tears. But he didn't because he's not gay. He's manly as fuck, you guys. He's so manly he only mates with other manly men.

That dick was 6 inches of uncircumcised perfection; framed by two weighty, but well-proportioned balls. The veins were a shade of blue so true that they perfectly complimented his skin tone. His golden pubic hair formed a halo as if to suggest that the cock itself were, as a matter of fact, a gift from the gods themselves.

Then the man attached to the beaver basher stepped through the steam.

“Satan suck a cock” Tony gasped. It was Thor, the god of thunder. “No one told me you had such a magnificent dick, dude. I mean, I had kind of assumed because you were the god of thunder and shit, but damn. I. Am. Impressed.”

Thor smiled and let out a chuckle. “Thank you.” he said, and stuck a pose to show off his mighty meat wand.

“I gotta-I gotta touch it.” He said, lifting up the glorious meat harpoon gently with his finger tips. Thor gasped. “Oh-ohohohohohohohohhhhhhhhhhh I'm sorry, bro.” Tony apologized “Is it ok if I touch your doodle?”

Thor shook his head. “No, my friend, it is not that. You are the first one in centuries to be able to lift my cock. My cock is just as picky as my hammer and it does not allow just anyone to lift it. It has created a lot of really awkward dates for me.” He grabbed Tony by the shoulder. “You must jerk me off.” He stated matter-of-factly.

Tony hadn't really considered this. Also he was still in his suit and he hadn't tried to jerk anyone off with it, but was seriously wondering if it would result in him accidentally ripping off his dangle and that would most likely ruin the mood.

“Would you be mad if I accidentally ripped your dick off?” Tony asked while making a jerking off motion. “The suit is kind of powerful, and it tend to malfunction when it's wet.”

Thor took a moment to consider this and shrugged. “I would get over it.” He said, like an idiot.

Tony got excited. Like, probably way too excited for a grown ass man, but nonetheless, he was pretty happy to just be there at the right time. “I'm gonna go lube up my hand!” He cried and ran as fast as he could to his room to grab his favorite bottle.

He was so horny that he forgot how to open doors and had to seduce the door to his room to open it. But, he rolled a 20 and that door was his now. It would never know pleasure like Tony stark again. He saw the bottle of his favorite lube and picked it up. He spun around only to see Thor standing in the doorway.

“Did you walk all the way here, like that? Naked?”

“Yes. Tony, we have to hurry this up, I'm late to have lunch with The Hulk and his new boyfriend, Jeff Goldblum.”

“Oh, sorry.” Tony rolled his eyes. He had dated Jeff first.

He poured the entire bottle of lube into his hands and went to town. He massaged the shaft until it grew to about the size of a 2 liter bottle of soda. Tony was both impressed and terrified by this development, but was pretty thankful it wasn't in his ass.

“No human has ever survived intercourse with me!” Thor said with a laugh.

“What?” Tony said

“What?” Thor repeated.

What indeed.

Tony started to stroke Thor's enormous flesh hammer harder. He played with the, now sadly no longer proportional, balls. You should have seen his technique, it was amazing. The kind of technique that only someone who knew their way around a member would have. It made angels weep with happiness and would have cured cancer, if you did it to someone with cancer. The FDA won't test that shit, though, because you can't monetize it. So you know, fuck 'em.

When Thor came, thunder struck. Tony narrowly avoided becoming fried chicken.

“Can we do this again next week?” Thor asked

“Sure” Tony smiled.


End file.
